Filthy home? Here’s how to hide it

Just take a quick look around your home – the living room looks like a waste disposal unit, your kitchen counter has weird, non-specific stains on it, your bedroom has been given the nickname Grimezilla by your partner and your bathroom… let’s just say you’re not getting any cleaner when you shower anymore.

Yeah, it might be time for a spot of home improvement.

If you can put the flat in Withnail and I to shame, then you might need a few bits and bobs to bring the room the illusion of tidiness. Start with some of these.

Mighty fine mats

If you’ve got dirt or grime ground into your carpets, then there are very few ways to remove it without spending a fortune.

Thank goodness, then, for mats that can cover stains and, unlike carpeting, be shoved in the washing machine if they get dirty. Design mats can even tie the room together, offsetting your filthy walls with unique patterns and natty fabrics.

Find a few mats to cover the less desirable parts of your carpets (spag bol stains are just impossible to remove, aren’t they?) and you won’t have to pull the hoover out quite so often.

Vintage storage

Sometimes those cheap as chips storage boxes make your home even messier than when you started. But, if you splash the cash, finding some old-fashioned storage can give your home a rustic look to complement that blessed mess.

Try finding old suitcases from vintage or antique shops and using them to store your bits and bobs. Tatty browns and dishevelled dark reds can help make any clutter in your home look deliberate, as though you merely have eccentric tastes.

If you want a sleeker look, try visiting your local branch of IKEA for neater (albeit slightly more expensive) storage options.

Your biggest fan

All that mould build-up in your bathroom; the creeping bugs and hidden bacteria; the stifling smell of damp impinging the air; and the muck on the toilet inciting your gag reflex. It’s not the nicest place to shower, is it?

Apart from your seeming inability to use a scrubbing brush, all that mould build-up could have something to do with your ventilation system. Grab a new extractor fan from a respected supplier and fit it near your shower. Soon, you’ll have less steam build-up and, in turn, less mould. Just make sure to actually clean the place once in a while.